Letting go of control

photo-1430933964450-0aefb85717c8In month of March, especially around the Spring Equinox, I like to focus my attention on the process of being in my center.

I get this question a lot from my students: If I truly want to manifest something doesn’t that mean I have to be in control all the time? What if I inadvertently manifest the wrong thing?

There is a funny balance between manifesting and control, and it’s probably not what you are thinking.

The easiest way to manifest something is to relinquish control over it completely.

Yes you read that right.

Think about it this way, the art of manifesting something is all about flow. Think about the last lucky streak you had? Didn’t it feel like everything was just flowing to you?

Next think about the image of holding on to something really tightly. Gripping it with all your might. Doesn’t feel very much like flow does it?

The biggest secret to manifesting everything you desire, is first getting clear on what it is you want, and then completely letting go of the outcome.

Around this time of the year, my Sacred Wheel Immersion students are all setting intentions and planting seeds for what they want to see flourish in their lives. This is the act of getting clear. Ask yourself: What do I want to see grow this year? What would it feel like to have that?

The next step is to completely let go of the outcome.

I have a practice where once I’ve set my intention for something, I turn it over to the Goddess. Then I practice being in my center.

When I am standing in the center of the crossroads, my only job is to then ask myself at every turn: Does this feel like it is moving me closer, or further away from what I want?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell, so I like to have a fail-safe way of getting a yes/no answer from the Goddess/Universe. A pendulum or a coin toss usually does the trick.

As soon as I get caught up in the details of what is or is not possible, I’ve taken myself out of the flow. Because the truth is, there are all kinds of details I cannot see. Life is full of unknowns.

Using your limited view of the universe to try to predict where and when something will happen, is kind of an exercise in futility.

The second thing I’ve noticed, is that when I’m really invested in controlling the outcome of something, it is because somewhere deep down, I’m afraid I don’t deserve it.

Anxiety about the where and when, is a clear sign that there may be some unconscious blocks to clear or feelings to honor. Once all the shadow stuff has been worked out, I usually find myself returning to a state of trust in the flow.

This is particularly salient for me right now: my family is poised to make a multi-state move, complete with things like escrow, counter-offers, closing costs, moving trucks, multi-day 2000 mile road trips, new houses to be found, saying goodbye to all friends and family, and heading to an entirely new eco-system.

So it is not like I’m telling you all this from my cozy nice predictable life. I literally don’t know a single detail about what life will look like a month from now.

Are my control issues up? You bet!

But when I sit with what is really keeping me up at night, it isn’t the fear that things won’t work out.

Because they will.

It is the fear that I don’t deserve to be happy. The fear that all my happiness up until now has just been blind luck.

Right now this practice of sitting in my center, and evaluating each decision is really really important. When I ground back into the present reality, I remember that I’m in charge of making my own happiness. That I choose how I react to my circumstances. That of all the thousands of details I don’t have control over, the choices I make from my own center are not among them.

So as spring heats up, and life starts to get crazy, I invite you to come back to your own center and ask these two questions:

  1. What is the choice facing me right now?
  2. Does this decision feel like it is moving me closer or further from my desires?

Leave a comment below and let me know how it goes.

 

 

 

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Allison Carr

Leave a Comment

  • Megan April 1, 2016, 10:56 AM

    Thank you so much for this, Allison! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’m so honored to be in your Sacred Wheel Immersion program and am grateful for your wisdom.

    Reply
    • Allison Carr April 2, 2016, 2:32 PM

      I’m so glad it resonated with you Megan, and so glad to have you in the program! Hope to hear from you more as the year progresses!

      Reply